See Something, Say Something

We often talk about recognizing the red flags and signs of domestic violence, but we don’t often talk about what to do if you witness an incident. Bystander intervention is taking action when you see others at risk for violence or harassment. There are several ways to intervene as a bystander when it appears that someone needs help and you don’t have to put yourself in danger. 

First, you have to be aware that something is happening. Pay attention to who is in your vicinity. Take note of your surroundings. If you see something and it feels ‘off’ to you, trust your gut.  

Second, don’t assume that someone else will intervene. Research has consistently shown that the more bystanders there are the less likely an individual is to intervene. This phenomenon is known as diffusion of responsibility which is one component of the bystander effect. One reason bystanders often give for not intervening is that they didn’t know what to do.  

Two nonprofits dedicated to promoting bystander intervention, Green Dot and Right To Be, pioneered the 5 Ds of Intervention. These approaches can help you stay safe when trying to intervene for someone else. The method you choose depends on the situation and what you feel comfortable and safe to do.  

• Distract – Strike up a conversation, ask a question, the goal is to draw attention away from the person being harassed.  

• Delegate – Ask for help with someone in a position of authority nearby or a fellow bystander, call 911. 

• Direct – Tell the harasser to stop, ask the person being harassed what assistance they need. Ask the victim if they want you to call the police. Not everyone feels safer with police. Use this method with caution.  

• Document – If recording video, do so from a safe distance, say the date and time. Ask the person who was harassed what they want done with the footage. Don’t share footage without permission.  

• Delay – Check in with the victim after the incident, ask if they need help, let them know that what happened is not okay 

Knowing how to safely intervene can empower you to help someone when they need it most.  

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Harmony House

The mission of Harmony House is to provide shelter, advocacy and education to survivors of domestic violence and promote the principle that all individuals have the right to life free of abuse.

Since 1976, our emergency shelter and supportive outreach case management programs have offered individuals and their children the opportunity to rest and heal both emotionally and physically in a supportive environment. We believe you. You are not alone and we can help!

If you or someone you know is living in an abusive situation, call 417–864-SAFE (7233) to speak with an advocate.

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